The last year
Where to begin, this has been the hardest, saddest year for myself and my family.
My husband Sid transitioned to spirit form July 31st 2022.
The year has been filled with every emotion imaginable and then some.
The biggest most profound understanding in this is that we DON'T die, but live on in another plane of existence.
The signs Sid hadn't left us started the very next morning on August 1st. Our son walked outside to get in his truck and looked down and saw a heart shaped rock. He instantly knew it was a sign from his dad that he was still alive and well and still with us.
That afternoon he popped in while I was in the car with my daughter, he was leaning over the back seat totally involved in our conversation.
The pop ins and signs of hearts came at least once a week. I have kept an album in my phone of all the heart shaped items he has given us and to this date there is almost 100.
We are amazed at his abilities and it does help so much.
If you are experiencing a huge loss of a loved one here is my advice;
Cry as much as you want
Screaming actually helps (try to do it when there is no one to hear so you don't scare the crap out of anyone)
Eat whatever you feel like eating
Try to get outside as much as you can and move your body (it helps move the emotions through so they don't stay stuck)
Say no if you don't feel like doing something.
Enjoy the freedom of not caring what anyone thinks about you
Stop and listen so you can hear and feel your loved one and see the signs they are leaving for you.
Remember that they have a hard time seeing us so sad and grieving, so try to smile and find moments of happiness.
It is hard for them to connect with us when we are really deep in our grief. The only times I couldn't hear him or feel him was when I was really in the depths of it.
Keep a journal to write about your experiences and feelings.
Know that it takes time to heal, and our bodies need more attention while going through this.
I will leave you with a beautiful experience.
My daughter in law texted to ask if I wanted to get together for dinner, I said yes and asked what we wanted as we usually get take out. She replied that she would go to the store to pick something up to cook and they would be over after work. She came in carrying some groceries and a bouquet of roses for me. I asked why she bought me flowers and she said, I have no idea, I was in Price Chopper and suddenly had the thought to go look at the flowers and saw these and thought oh I'll buy them for Laura. I took the bouquet and noticed a label on the front of them that said the word "sweetnes" I asked her if she had seen the label and she said no, I told her that Sid always called me sweetness and that is my contact in his phone and our anniversary is next week and he always bought flowers at price chopper! She had no idea that he called me that or our anniversary was coming up. When I was telling my daughter the story later, Sid popped in and said "yea they screwed up the spelling a little bit but you know what it said" lol.
So, he orchestrated the whole dinner and trip to the price chopper when she normally goes to hannafords. He saw the flowers ahead of time and because Amy is open and goes with her instincts she was able to help Sid get me flowers for our anniversary like he always did.
Please stay open and know your loved ones are still with you.